Real Talk 02: Madonna Versus Whore (Women Seeking Attention)

As a heterosexual woman myself I know all to well that we seek attention, different types depending on the woman we are talking about. But we all seek that reassurance from a male. Some take the compliments with a blush and thank you and go about their day, where as others tend to crave and need that attention on a daily basis, and will do what ever they need to do in order to get that attention.

We have the Madonna type woman. This is essentially the “good girl” or as some would say a “prude.” Who doesn’t go out seeking attention, but they do like it when they get it. Whether or not they will admit it is really up to them.

Then we have the Whore type. This type dresses and says what ever she needs to get the attention she wants. She is the one that will post on social media pictures that maybe “show too much” or will say things like “I am so ugly” just to receive compliments and reassurance of her beauty.



Men maybe have a lot more experience then I do with these types of women, but it seems if a woman doesn’t get the compliments she wants she turns on the man, calling him a jerk or a ass hole. The woman will lose interest in the situation and leave, or she will become more sexual and get what she wants leading the man to believe he is getting sex, just so she can get the compliment she wants from him and the attention she craves. This isn’t the man’s fault, though many women would blame him in that type of situation. Men do not “fish” for compliments, you never hear a straight man say, “Oh my God no one said anything about my shirt, I want to leave!”

I have noticed these types of women because one of my friends is the type who craves attention from a male. She will do what ever she has to do, dress sparingly, and make promises of sexual gratification (and sometimes act on it) just so the man will be interested in her. When I first noticed this behavior we were at a bar together. I was leaning on the trunk of some guy’s car, sipping some Captain Morgan and Coke, talking about movies and such having a casual conversation. I look over and see my friend flirting with a group of guys, two of which was touching her, and she was eating it up. She craved the attention of the men, she needed it to feel “sexy,” and she kept at it with other’s almost leaving with one as she did promise him sexual gratification.

I would say I was appalled, but I wasn’t. See I am a Madonna and a Whore myself, I am not in denial of it. I am the type that is a good girl, but I have a secret whore inside my mind. I suppose the saying “Lady in the streets freak in the sheets” is something that fits my personality. So I did not judge her for it, I was worried though.

Then we went out again, and she started flashing men her boobs to get the attention she needed. She dressed up all sluttish and had yet to receive the attention she wanted to justify that sexiness, so she acted out to get it. She of course received attention then, men want sex, men like sex, and men like boobs, well straight men anyway. As the night went on, she continued talking to this one guy. I talked to him as well, but I was more talking in a “I am interested in this topic of conversation and want to dig through your brain and have a deeper level of conversation.” But I think this may of upset her, so she took it up a notch, she kissed him, she touched his “you know what” and got the attention back on herself. Which I did not really care that much about it, but it made my worry about her intensify and I thought maybe she has a personality disorder? Specifically Histrionic Personality Disorder Maybe she doesn’t, maybe she just has to have the attention because of her poor self-image.

I have heard a lot of men say though that it is sad for a woman to “fish” for compliments in such a manner because it is immature. A real woman would not do such things. But I am not sure of a man’s point of view on the matter, since I have a vagina and not a penis. Though if a man is reading this and wants to give his view, GO FOR IT! I would love to hear what a male or female has to say on this topic.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a woman myself, and am grateful for compliments when I get them. I do not dig for compliments or act sexually towards men to get them. The best compliment a man can give me is not “You are so sexy,” but rather “You have brains and beauty.” Maybe I am weird for thinking that is the sexiest compliment a woman can receive? Or maybe I am just not the whore type that craves attention constantly? But we are all different. I also have a poor self-image, as many women do, I lack confidence and I HATE looking in a mirror, or people taking photographs of me, it causes me to have an anxiety attack. But for this same reason I do not like attention, I do not like to be the center of anyone’s attention, and when it happens I panic. I love my friend no matter what type she may be, she is fun to be around, and hell if she is happy then I am happy.

But, what are your thoughts on women seeking attention? Is it bothersome and annoying? Do you do it yourself? Have you had a whore type friend who went too far just to get the compliments she desired?

–Moxie Luster

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9 thoughts on “Real Talk 02: Madonna Versus Whore (Women Seeking Attention)

  1. I don’t generally think in gender specific terms, tbh, except that I guess there are certain things that people look at through a cultural lens and I’d say there’s definitely a certain gender based culture (and subsequent outlook) for some people. What I mean though is… take the whore type you describe. A guy might go about it differently, but burning rubber and doing doughnuts in a CVS parking lot is usually an attention whore acting out. More or less the same thing though; a guy craving attention is only happy when he’s getting a lot of it, and when he’s not he acts out. A lot of guys I’ve known pick fights for the same reason. lol That or they’re bored I guess (kind of guilty of that one). But yeah, I’d say it’s essentially the same thing.

    As far as what I think of it, I tend to approach things like that with a “live and let live” mentality. Unless it’s bothering me, and when that happens I put a stop to it, or at least remove it from my space. E.g. if a guy is burning rubber all over the parking lot and ends up coming within a few feet of hitting me, I’m liable to drag his ass out of his souped up truck if I get the chance. Basically though, if it doesn’t bother or endanger me, I think people should do whatever gets their rocks off so to speak.

    ” Is it bothersome and annoying?”

    It really depends on what they’re doing, whether I’ve established boundaries, and whether they disregard clearly established boundaries. There was this one girl in high school that kind of had a crush on me and she was always trying to get my attention. That annoyed me ’cause I was pretty clear (with her and with lots of people she knew) on what my tolerance level was with certain things, and what I felt comfortable with. I didn’t have to put up with to much sexual attention grabs though because I was head over heels for someone else at the time, which she… well, more or less accepted.

    There was also a guy I hung out with in gym class that used to talk shit and mess with people all the time to get attention. Wasn’t the first one either actually (male or female), come to think of it, but I somehow ended up getting on good terms with him. His tendencies were only annoying when he overstepped and he didn’t do that very often. Like that one time he came up behind me and flicked one of my ear-rings as hard as he could. That pissed me off so I threw a handful of change (quarters, pennies, etc.) at him. He didn’t do it again 🙂 .

    “Do you do it yourself?”

    I’d say I fall into mostly the same category as you. I write, in part, for the attention. No real way around admitting that, and I love it. The high when someone says you’ve captured a thought or feeling perfectly, or when they say they can’t wait to read more (and actually follow through haha). But I think my behavior and attitude generally seems to lean heavy on the “prude” side of the line, at least at first glance. I don’t go out seeking it because I bounce back and forth between not feeling I deserve it, not feeling I need it, or thinking I deserve it and don’t need to go out of my way to get it. I have no idea which (if any) of those is right, kind of just depends on how I’m feeling about myself.

    Sorry for the ridiculous length of this comment… lol didn’t really mean to write so much. I guess I still find the topic of attention seeking fascinating. My two cents anyways, for what they’re worth 🙂 .

    Liked by 2 people

  2. So men seek attention through the showing of brute force, or “bad assery” compared to women in their need for attention through “sexually seductiveness” lol.

    I agree I let my friend be who she is with no judgement but it doesn’t mean that I will not constantly worry that she may take it too far and cause drama or end up getting sexually abused by her behavior.

    I can see how someone wanting your attention but your attention is elsewhere can be annoying, luckily she did not act out because you did not show her the attention she wanted from you, at least she some what accepted it and moved on, YAY NO DRAMA!

    A handful of change? OUCH instead of making it rain, you made it hail.. hehehe

    I understand those confusing feelings you listed, I go through them at times myself. The way I feel about myself constantly changes depending on my mood and environment, and sometimes whether or not I am pmsing (tmi I know)

    I don’t mind the length of the comment it was great reading your opinion on the subject. I look through the eyes of a woman and do not see what you may see as a man, so it is always nice to get both sides of the story instead of just going with one.

    Thanks for your opinion it was a great read and also very insightful!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Excellent piece! Thank you.
    I think this is an issue all women deal with at some point or another. We seek validation. We want to know that we’re considered beautiful and sexy. More confident women don’t actively seek compliments. I think fishing for them shows a level of insecurity. One thing I am bad at is accepting compliments. I always try to make it seem like no big deal. But I love compliments too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting piece. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I used to be the girl who needed attention, specifically from men. Now, I could care less whether I get compliments or not, and honestly, unless they’re from my husband or someone I know, compliments (about my appearance) can make me pretty uncomfortable.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m more like you, both those types but privately. If my partner wants something in the bedroom, I’ll do it for him and for me, why not? I’ve had one night stands while at Uni and found it horrible, I felt like I had done something wrong and it made me think I was just an object. I could never flirt so I only met guys who can!e onto me, I don’t think that’s me fishing for compliments, I was just too scared, shy, anxious whatever. Your friend should be careful, attitude like that may get her into trouble :/ or cause a bad reputation. Now I sound like my mother lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not sure I could share my bed, though we have talked about it, it isn’t something at this time that interests me. People base us off the type of persona we give off, she has backed away from overly sexualized flirtatious behavior for now, which I’m glad because I was becoming intensly worried about her well being, reputation is something that neither of us really care about. Although it is in the back of my mind at times, just not always haha.

      We tend to sound more like our mom’s the older we get! They try to warn us and keep us from harm but we usually come to this realization from making mistakes and learning lessons. Lol.

      Thank you for your comment! 🙂

      Like

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