Feeling Like a Crappy Parent?

Have you ever been bombarded by someone who isn’t a parent? They just assume that they know everything and anything there is to do with raising a child, and some how with out having children of their own they have became some type of expert? Does it not just piss you off? I mean literally, does it not make you so mad you could just piss your pants out of anger? I personally can not stand being told by someone who has never cared for a child twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, how to “properly” raise my own. It makes my blood boil and I can imaging steam just shooting out of my ears.

This rant/post does come from something personal, as I was recently told how to properly care for my child by someone who has never had children, nor have they ever cared for a child longer then a couple of days. FYI two days every three months does not make you an expert, nor do you have the damn right to tell me how to raise my child. We all parent differently, and for God’s sake we are not perfect at it. We will make mistakes, we will lose our cool, we will not always kiss every single damn boo-boo but rather say it isn’t that bad suck it up. Want to know why? Because this is not the perfect little family that you see on 1950’s television shows. That is FICTION. This is REAL.

So let me just break down a few things, just because I can, and also because I live it daily and not only that but I have also educated myself through college on children, relationships, psychology, and such. I do not claim to be an expert on raising a child, NEVER will I ever claim such a title, because it is a learning process, we as parents learn day in and day out something new. I became pregnant at the age of Twenty, yes I was very young, no it was not planned, and yeah I admit I wasn’t the best at changing diapers and giving an infant a bath, because I never expected to be having children. But guess what? I learned, I loved it and still love it, and I feel blessed every single day to have such a wonderful daughter.

So let us get to this educational process, many do not realize when people say that we all parent differently it is not only a saying, but it is also literal as well. There is literally different parenting styles.


  • Authoritative– This parenting style is where parents will encourage their kids to be responsible, think for themselves, and teach them a common understanding for rules.
  • Authoritarian– Expects their orders to be obeyed by the children, with out the children questioning. They also rely on punishment, or the threat there of, to control their kids.
  • Permissive– Parents are warm and responsive, but do not really enforce the rules or any punishment.
  • Uninvolved– Offers their children little to none emotional support and also fail to enforce the standards of conduct.

  • Parenting Science

    So there you have it, there are at the moment four main parenting styles. Now I would like to believe that most of us parents do all four. We have a mixture of all four parenting styles that come out at different times. Does that make us bad parents? HELL NO. A bad parent, in my opinion, is those who literally leave their kid with someone else and never has a part in their lives, leaves them to starve in the streets, sells them into slavery for their next “fix” because they are addicted to drugs, the list goes on. Parents who are involved in their child lives, who cares, supports, loves them, and teaches them right from wrong, are wonderful parents. No matter how much society, media, or people around you make you feel like you are failing at being a parent. YOU ARE NOT.

    So if you too are a parent, you have today or a different day experienced someone making you feel like you are doing it all wrong, have had someone bombard you with “if he/she were my child I’d…”, cried for hours saying aloud to no one but your comfy pillow how you are a horrible parent, feel like the world is somehow attacking you, let me just tell you:

    You are AMAZING. You are a WONDERFUL mother/father. See that smile on your child’s face, that smile is there because of YOU. You CAN do this. You are NOT failing.

    I want you to say, right now, out loud, “I AM A GOOD MOM/DAD.” Do not worry about looking ridiculous, or who may hear you, SAY IT LOUD AND SAY IT PROUD. Because, you ARE. Then after you tell yourself, I want you to call up a parent you know, or more then one, and tell them “YOU ARE A GOOD MOM/DAD. YOU ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB.” Believe me, they need to hear it, they need it as much as you and me.

    When ever you feel like you are failing at parenting because your 1 Year Old just smeared their poop on the bathroom wall, or if you yelled NO and feel so bad about it. When ever you let your child have desert before dinner, or they are slightly sick but you want to wait and see if it gets worse or not. When ever your baby is crying and you do not know what to do and have to call for help, or today is the day you cut out all caffeinated drinks. Just remember, you are NOT a failure. You ARE a great Mom/dad.


    Much Love,
    Moxie Luster

    Advertisements

    2 thoughts on “Feeling Like a Crappy Parent?

    1. I don’t have children, but I get a taste of what parenting is like every day (1 niece / 2 nephew). Based upon my experience and understanding — I agree — there are multiple ways to raise a child. I find myself in the “permissive camp” quite a bit, haha.

      As a side note — I can’t stand people who don’t walk the walk. There exists a certain breed of Homo sapien, which prefers to run their mouth and verbally express their shallow pool of knowledge. Yuck.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Having a taste of parenting I am sure you know how difficult it may be, and how perfection will never be met.

        I agree, people who are “know-it-alls” about anything, with out hands-on experience or even being educated in that particular subject, just drives me mad. I never claim to be an expert, but I sure as hell do not run my mouth on subjects I can not even begin to comprehend. =/

        Like

    Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s