What are the top “Deal Breakers” in a relationship…?

While watching this “chick flick” show, Sex and the City, the main character (Carrie) was talking about deal breakers in a relationship. (And yes I still watch that show and I love it..shhh don’t tell anyone!) So I did a google search and found this article talking about it: HERE

Which of course this all had me thinking about what would my “deal breakers” be if I was still in the dating scene, but I wasn’t able to really come up with many, I am a pretty easy going person that tends to look past certain flaws. But there is still at least FIVE major things that I can not look pass in a person that I am dating.

  • Telling Lies. If you lie to me then I am not interested anymore. If we can not start off the relationship with honesty, then I will automatically assume that you will continue lying to me for the entire relationship. Truth hurts, but lies hurt, stick with you, and makes you hold grudges.
  • Lack of Time Management. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a clingy person. But if we are dating I do expect to see you at least a couple times a week. If you can not manage your time to see me, or if it is always on YOUR schedule and not a compromise of both our schedules, then we already have a problem.
  • Being Obnoxious. I am a rather shy individual, I am not very loud in public. I would expect the person to respect that and not be loud and obnoxious in public. Sure we can have a great time, laugh out loud, but the whole world does not have to hear our conversation, nor hear our silly banter.
  • Being rude to service individuals(and your parents!). I grew up in the south, Alabama to be exact, and we are brought up knowing to respect others. The saying goes, “If he/she is rude to his/her mother/father, it is possible they will be rude to you to and be a complete B-HOLE.” If we go out to eat be courteous to those who are waiting on us, this is how they make their living, and more then likely they don’t want to be there because of one too many rude customers!
  • Controlling. I hate hate HAAAATE being controlled. I am an independent woman and the thought of a man giving me rules just disgusts me. Sure we can make COMPROMISES, as long as they are not one sided. DO NOT tell me what to do though. Having someone telling what is or what is not okay just pisses me off to be honest. I do not mind meeting in the middle on important issues, but to control every little aspect of my life? Get to stepping, cause we are not compatible any longer.

    • So, that is my top five “Deal Breakers” when starting a new relationship. I believe they are pretty normal, not asking too much out of a person. What are your “Deal Breakers” in a relationship?

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7 thoughts on “What are the top “Deal Breakers” in a relationship…?

    • Sex and the City is and was a great show! And yes, having someone control you is dangerous. It breaks your character down quicker than a cheating spouse, at least in my experience. I am glad to hear he is now an ex and that you are not in that situation any longer!

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  1. I’ve got a top 5:

    *No reciprocity. If you do something nice for me and I’m not motivated to do something nice for you, or vice versa, the trend is that one of us is draining the other and eventually the whole relationship will be empty and pointless. Fuck that. If I do something nice for you I’m saying I love you, in my love language, and I hope you’ll say it back, in the same language. If you don’t want to learn how to say you love me in a way I understand, I’m going to find someone who will.

    * No encouragement. If I do something nice and you’re only critical of what I haven’t accomplished, or vice versa, ugh. I will learn to hate you, you horrible, demanding, fucking bitch.

    * No patience. I may not move at a pace you want, or vice versa. We have to match strides to hold hands, which means one of us will have to slow down, which might encourage the other to speed up, or not, and the slower pace has to be OK. The Text even says, “Love is patient…”

    * No respect. If I am a fat lazy asshole, fine, disrespect me and kick me to the curb. Do it now. But if I’m honestly trying and you treat me like shit unless you want something, and nothing I ever do is enough for you, I’m out.

    * No shared interests, or no different interests. If we love each other we will learn something from each other unless one of us decides to shut the other out. It means, if you want to go to a concert I want to go with you even if it’s not music I generally like. It means, if I want to try a new restaurant you want to try it with me even though the menu might be weird to you. It means when I finish reading a book you want to read that. And it means we try new things and then invite each other to share them. If I always say “no I don’t like that,” you are probably going to go and do that without me, or fester doing what I like all the time. And if I let you do what you like that I don’t like, that has to be fine. It’ll work, as long as we share together at least making an effort to grow together and don’t always shut each other out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 1. I agree with you, there should be equal giving and taking in a relationship so one doesn’t feel scorned.

      2. Being critical of someone doing something for you, that they didn’t have to in the first place, is wrong.

      3. Both partners should be encouraging and motivating in the relationship, not demanding and impatient. Though I must confess if I ask for the toilet said to be down more then 10 times I may start getting irritated and enter a more demanding mode. Though we have our own place, blatant disregard of a situation is wrong. But yes, love is patient. Though we all tend to slip up at one point.

      4. Respect is a must in a relationship, each should respect one another. As long as both are trying in the relationship the loss of respect will be less likely. But if one feels like they are the only one trying and making an effort, then it is time for the couple to talk things out. I can see a loss of respect if the couple has talked things out repeatedly, yet the same mistakes are happening, they say they are trying but It’s clear that they are not.

      5. In my opinion a couple SHOULD have different interests. That way each can be introduced to something new. They both should try to get into what the other likes, if they try and do not like it, that is fine. But if they do not at least attempt it, then there’s a problem. Like my fiance loves football, I’ve always hated it I find it boring, and although I knew that about myself I still made an effort to watch games with him until we came to a agreement, I watch my shows on a different tv while his game is on. Hahaha ☺.

      Thank you for your comment and sharing your top 5! Though I must say it seems you harbor some anger towards someone who did your top deal breakers. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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